#025 TEACHING BY EXAMPLE


Most people love giving advice, and jump into any opportunity to tell to others what to do and what not to, what is good and bad, what is moral and immoral. When they find themselves in times of trouble, however, they feel helpless and frustrated, unable to apply the very same advice they would give to others facing a similar situation.
Such people not only can’t help themselves deal with the difficulties they encounter in their lives, but also they cannot help others when in need, since their advice doesn’t sprout from their own understanding.
Below there is a beautiful story of a wise old man who is offering an inspiring lesson on the importance of teaching by example:
An old woman visited a wise man and asked him to speak to her son, as he was spending all the money he was earning on dates, while she was really poor and did not get anything from him. The wise man promised the woman he would speak to her son, but only after waiting for seven weeks, something which surprised the woman but she accepted.

When the seven weeks had passed, the boy was brought to the wise man, who gave the boy a warm welcome and said: “You are a strong, young man with good sense and understanding. Think about what your mother has done for you and the sacrifices she has made for you. She has invested all her earnings in your upbringing and education. Now she is old and you have a job and can support her. But instead you waste all your money on dates. Is that fair? Is that right? In the name of the conscience that is burning in your heart, I ask you to get out of this bad habit.”
The boy listened carefully, took the wise man’s words to heart and changed his ways.
However, the wise man’s pupils were puzzled and asked him why he had waited seven weeks to have the conversation with the boy.
The wise man replied: “I also love dates and I felt that I did not have the right and the power to call him to account for his habit if I could not give up eating dates myself for at least seven weeks. It is impossible to help anyone else to give up a weakness, when you give in to this weakness yourself.”
Before you help others out of a ditch, be sure you’re not trapped in one yourself.

Comments

  1. This has happened to me! Not in the way that the story mentions, but for example when I tried to advise my friends about a topic, despite I didn't know how to deal with my own problems... It also has happened to me with my parents too, when I was a child... well, I remember that they told me to behave in a certain way, but they weren't able to do it and to teach me through their example... Nobody is perfect, the only thing we're able to do is to act properly and teach others through good actions. :)

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    1. Yeah, the only sure thing is that the best way to teach is by example, though it is tough, it is not impossible.

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  2. Sometimes people get angry with us because they consider we are not able to do what they advise us and think that they are wasting their time, saying we don't care about theirs words. However, this happend because they don't put theirselves in people's shoes. It's not about to say "I understand you", It's about feel it... In fact, it's hard to give an advice of a situation that we haven't lived.

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    1. But that's what everybody do, people try to give advice to help other people which is absolutely fine, but how about ourselves? I mean why don't we see if what we preach, it's something that we practise. It would be better and meaningful.

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  3. This story shows a great truth, because people try to advise others, but, usually, we forget to correct our own mistakes. For example, when my friends have problems I try to give them a good advice, but then when I'm in a similar situation it's quite difficult to act in the correct way. That's why this story serves to remind us that we must teach by example and thus improve ourselves and the person we advise.
    Maria Paula Romero
    F12- San Miguel 6pm

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    1. Absolutely, we have to evolve, it is the only way to teach others and help them, we must be an example for others. The path to evolution has lots of trials which test us and help them be better. As Aristotle once said: "I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."

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  4. This story show us what happen is our daily lives.For me,It is so easy when someone ask me a piece of advice because I answer quickly, but when I have a problem ,I can be hours and hours thinking and I still without a solution.

    Now I am doing me a question:Why I can give something someone if firstly I can not give it to me?
    First We need to know what we need and then ,what others need.

    Paris Caceres
    CO3C San Miguel 4 pm

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    Replies
    1. As you said the story shows us what happens in our daily life. However, the question you wonder is something that happens to all of us, but we need to learn from our mistakes, so we would help others in a better way.

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  5. This story show us that we must be sure of what we have and what we achieve to show others that there are solutions in life, no matter how deep you fall. That´s makes me to think that we are nor perfect and we make mistakes .

    In conclusion, this story leaves us a good teaching that we have to practise inour daily lives.

    Tatiana Huamán I07

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  6. The reflection shows us that no matter how wise a person is, if he doesn't maintain a disciplinary routine, it is possible that he derails, just as the old man did, that it was necessary to "get fit first" in order to face the boy's situation. What I want to say is that as new learning is acquired it is necessary to put it into practice routinely and not wait until the last moment to remember it
    It is not necessary to be a veteran or experienced to achieve it, it is only to be disciplined and this is achieved by generating habits that become custom.

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  7. What this story tries to tell us is whether you are older or younger, before advising someone or helping someone, you must first help yourself. We cannot tell someone to do something if we don't dare to do it ourselves. By being an example we can leave in others the desire to really improve, especially in children; with this I'm not saying that you only have to be an example to leave a good image of ourselves, you have to be good because it is the most natural thing in a human being, to have virtues and always to evolve, realizing our mistakes and amending them.

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  8. Luis Enrique Vega30 November 2018 at 20:41

    Certainly, we are example of our relatives and friends day by day . Be perfect is not the matter just correct our mistake to show the good way. It's the real teaching.

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  9. This story show us that the example can be, in all light, your best teaching method. But it is not very difficult to achieve. However, it is also something that is worthwhile and that can be a part of the life. Preaching by example is the wisest thing you can convey. Because your actions always speak louder and clearer than your words.
    Naysha Damas.

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  10. This reflection deals with a reality that often happens between friends and family.

    There is a lot of people trying to give advice to other people that seems to be in

    trouble, even when they are not asked to do so. The worst part of this behaviour is

    that many of these "advice giver" people don´t follow the same advice they are giving

    and when trouble comes to them they don´t know what to do, and They can´t apply what

    they tried to teach to others.



    One way to avoid this kind of behaviour is represented with a story that the writer includes

    in this reflection. The story is about a wise old man that is asked to give and advice

    to a young man,and He accepts to do it, but only if He talks to the young man after

    seven weeks.



    In turns out that, the wise old man waited the seven weeks, because in that time he was

    giving up to the same bad behaviour of the young man, so the old man explains that seven

    weeks earlier, when He was asked for advice He couldn´t give any, because it would have

    been bad to give a piece of advise when He was doing the same thing.



    The moral of this reflection would be that if people really want to teach something with

    meaning, it should be by example, by doing the same thing that he says must be done,

    otherwise it would be just empty words.

    YALITZA SILVA YMAN

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